This is the problem with friendship today: people say that they have quality people by their side, they are even satisfied with the number of friends they have and long to see them more often. Despite all this, Americans are actually spending less We will spend more time socializing than ever: just 35 minutes a day in 2025. When we make plans, we schedule them weeks in advance. (Indicate the I’m so busy!) When the date finally arrives, we may cancel, because we are too stressed and want to rest on the couch. In other words, we have very little follow-up.
But we can close the gap between our desires and the limitations of reality by using the resources we already have. May I suggest the weekly photo dump? Every Friday in our group chat, my friends and I send a handful of photos from our weeks: photos of dogs, photos of food, photos of trails ridden, clothes worn, things we wouldn’t necessarily share online. The photo dump is a peek behind the curtain, an intimate front-row seat to the small, slow moments only your friends would appreciate.
If you are prone to laziness, as I admit, photo dumping has perhaps the highest effort-to-benefit ratio. The weekly cadence establishes a routine, and texting is a relatively easy way to stay in touch.
Since text messaging overtook phone calls in 2008, many of us have primarily used the written word and occasionally a photo to converse. Perhaps not surprisingly, the amount of time we spend glued to our phones has also increased. Sure, we could all use a little less screen time, but if you already have your phone in hand, you might as well use it for something socially engaging.
At the same time, photo dumping provides some much-needed barriers when it comes to the expectation of always being available. First, by choosing a time or day of the week for the dump, you eliminate the pressure of responding to sporadic messages that come in at all hours of the day. “Maybe a weekly call is a little harder to sustain for some people, but a weekly text, especially if we could say, ‘I saw this and it reminded me of you. I hope you’re okay,’ that doesn’t create immediate pressure to respond,” Peggy Liu, Ben L. Fryrear Scholar and professor of marketing at the University of Pittsburgh School of Business, told Vox.
Plus, having a routine when it comes to social interactions makes it easier to stay in touch. If you’re already in the habit of regularly catching up, you’re less likely to completely lose touch, which eliminates the anxiety many people feel when it comes to reaching out to a friend when a while has passed. “Even in the era of social media, when people were more likely to use it for social media purposes, having some sense that you knew what was going on in someone’s life actually gave you something to talk about once you saw them face to face or on a phone call,” Jeffrey A. Hall, professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, told Vox.
Then mutual acceptance helps calm the anxious voice in the back of your mind that says you’re annoying and no one wants to see what you’ve been up to. The structure of the photo dump gives everyone permission to share. “There’s really nothing wrong with the idea of care being a central reason for doing all of this,” Hall said.
Texting may not be the most effective way to stay in touch (phone calls create stronger social bonds, according to one study) but it’s certainly preferable to not communicating at all. “It provides a sense of connection in the moment and a reminder that there are people in your life who care about you and think about you,” Hall said. Take, for example, one of Liu’s studies that found that people underestimate how much others appreciate their help. Sending a photo of your garden in full bloom is a way to share something meaningful to you and also lets your friends know you’re thinking of them.
The weekly photo dump is a safe space to inform your friends beyond the prying eyes of social media. No need to pitch to an audience that barely knows you – add photos of your new adventure, who they’ve probably already heard of. Your friends will value the chaotic scene at your kids’ pool party more than the Internet, and the fact that it’s not something you post on Instagram makes the interaction feel much more intimate. “The social obligation between five or ten friends is much stronger than the obligation of [the] social media audience as a whole,” Hall said. “There’s a lot of potential for more meaningful and richer exchanges in that kind of context than there would be among your 500 friends on Facebook in the past.”
My last photo dump included pictures of a friend’s cat on her refrigerator, my backyard looking dreamy under string lights, a manicure, and a towering ice cream cone. None of these moments will be recorded in the annals of history, but I feel closer to my friends having witnessed the small snapshots of their lives. And that’s what friendship is: being there for the little things.
“We know what’s going on in each other’s lives,” Hall said. “And those things are the hallmark of what it means to have a relationship with someone.”