A meeting continues. People talk, but no one says what needs to be said. The direction is unclear, the energy drops, and everyone is waiting for someone to speak with authority.
When you finally speak, the words come out softer than you intended:
– “Maybe we should consider…”
– “I think it would be good if…”
– “Sorry to interrupt, but…”
One of the biggest challenges leaders face is not only what they decide, but how they communicate it. Clarity, confidence and authority set the tone of the room.
If you tend to soften your tone or worry about appearing aggressive, being more direct can feel uncomfortable. I coach leaders through this all the time, and here’s what they quickly learn: Directive leadership is not about being tough. It’s about being clear. And clarity is what builds trust, drives ownership, and gets results without raising your voice.
Your words either signal your authority or undermine it.
From apologetic to authoritative
One of my clients, a senior director at a biotech company in South San Francisco, was brilliant, respected, and deeply collaborative. But he had a blind spot: his communication was always too soft. His requests seemed tentative, his decisions seemed optional, and his team often left meetings unclear on priorities.
She told me, “I know what I want to say, but at the moment I don’t want to seem demanding.” In a meeting, a project was failing. I needed to make a call. Instead, she said, “Maybe we could try changing the deadline? I’m not sure, what do you think?”
The team debated for 15 minutes without direction.
We worked in a shift: aligning his language with the authority he already had. Not stronger. No more forceful. Just clearer.
Two weeks later, when another result failed, he said: “This is a priority. We are meeting the original deadline. I need everyone to be aligned.” The room calmed down. The people accepted. The project was back on track.
He later told me, “It felt clear, decisive, and grounded. I felt in charge instead of trying to keep the peace. That’s what leadership is supposed to feel like.”
What the best leaders do differently
Think about the leaders who command respect in your organization. Listen to how they talk.
– They are not protected.
– They don’t apologize for having an opinion.
– They say what they want to say.
And here’s the part where many leaders get it wrong: It’s not about personality. A significant number of the leaders I coach are introverts. They are thoughtful, measured, and often worried about appearing too direct. But managerial communication doesn’t change who they are. It just changes the clarity with which the room understands them.
Out-of-the-box leadership language
If being a manager doesn’t come naturally, you need real words that you can use in real situations.
Set clear expectations
- “I need you…”
- “This is a priority. Please focus here first.”
- “This must be done by Friday. Let me know if there is a barrier.”
Give instructions confidentially
- “This is the plan we are moving forward with.”
- “I have decided that we will handle it this way.”
- “I ask you to take the lead in this.”
Own your authority with respect
- “I’m making this call.”
- “Let me be direct…”
- “I am responsible for this result and I need your collaboration.”
Hold people accountable
- “This did not meet our standard. Let’s discuss how to improve it.”
- “What we agreed to didn’t happen. Let’s get back on track.”
- “We haven’t hit the mark here. How do you plan to fix it?”
Notice what’s missing in all of this: apologies, hedging, and room for endless debate.
The change in leadership mindset
These are not just communication techniques. They reflect a deeper shift in the way you view your leadership role. You are moving from:
- seeking permission → Provide address
- Waiting for consensus → make decisions
- avoiding discomfort → Address problems directly
Clarity lends weight to your leadership. Your team doesn’t need you to make more noise. They need you to be clearer. They don’t need you to wait your turn. They need you to step up when direction is required.
Put it into practice
Choose three phrases from the lists above that match what you’re facing right now: an unclear deadline, a project adrift, or a team member who needs firmer expectations.
Then choose an upcoming situation where you tend to soften. Prepare your words in advance. Practice them out loud once or twice. Then use them in the moment.
The change is immediate. People stop debating. They begin to execute. And you feel the difference between managing the conversation and leading it.
Because when you speak with clarity and authority, people not only listen, they follow you.